‘If there is an asteroid plummeting towards us, can it hit before this does?’
Film-execs are a clever old bunch. They know that if they offer an equal amount of guns and bikini-clad women, that randy men will turn up in droves at their local multiplex to clap like seals at naked ladies and loud noises as they dribble at the mouth.
This is the hypothesis that seems to have governed the release of Spring Breakers, which stars Selena Gomez (Disney-girl-gone-bad, well its worked so well for Lindsay Lohan) as a member of a bikini clad crime team, who attempt a robbery in order to afford some spring break antics. Somehow, this ‘fox team four’ end up involved with a grill-toothed gangster played by James Franco (why, Franco, why!?) who probably isn’t as trust worthy as he (actually never) seems. Franco decided the best way to look like a mean gangster was to model himself on late-80s Stevie Wonder.
Watching the trailer for this film is similar to watching a video of a man eating a urinal cake. There’s an equal amount of disgust, curiosity and weeping at the end.
Spring Breakers is scheduled for release in the UK on April 5th, though that’s depending on whether we’ve been smushed by an asteroid by then.